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johannhowitzer
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Name: Jonathan
Country: United States
State: Indiana
Metro: Indianapolis
Birthday: 9/19/1983
Gender: Male
Interests: I love God most of all, then my family and friends. After that I like all things musical and theatrical, I like reading and writing (especially poetry), swimming, and getting sent encouraging notes through the mail.
Expertise: I am best at two things: playing the piano and writing music for the piano. I write concisely and coherently, and have been told my poetry is excellent. All things I can only do when God gives me the ability.
Occupation: Student
Message: message meEmail: email me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  johannhowitzer
Member Since:
9/23/2004
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| I don't know quite what to make of all this yet. I'm trying to be optimistic without getting my hopes up too much, which is like juggling a pie and a chainsaw.
Cassie has yet to contact me without me contacting her first... a familiar problem. I suppose she is busy, and I've been doing enough contacting her to keep the friendship going, but still. Would be nice if a woman would keep me from shouldering all the responsibility for once.
Still, there are positive signs. Two plans to hang out with her and others at the same time failed, so I asked about just having dinner and she invited me over. A girl who'd only just met me online and once in person decided to invite me into her home, where she knew it would only be the two of us... so either she took a stupid risk or she can see I'm trustworthy. We ended up talking for four hours - I showed up fifteen minutes early and stayed until she had to leave for her night time job. Turns out she's just as big a music nerd as I am... and four hours of conversation without a single awkward silence is a very good sign.
It's the holidays, and our schedules haven't been in tune much. Was tentatively having coffee with her tonight, but I called as planned and she said she couldn't make it. On the flipside, I did mention having her come over to my parents' house for our family gathering on Christmas Eve, and she said she might be able to. I'm not holding my breath, something's probably going to come up and we'll have to reschedule. Again. Sigh, and I was going to ask her out officially today too. Christmas is nice and all, and it's a good reminder, but I'll be glad when all this holiday craziness is over and I don't have to bend over backwards to find time to hang out with her. It's all I can do right now to keep from letting her slip away as so many women have. Doesn't help my heart that situations like this have ended in unexplained silence so often before. But as Holly is so fond of reminding me, those people don't deserve to be my friends if they won't act like it. Apparently I'm not the only one with this problem, though... several guys have told me lately that women have broken up with them by just ignoring them until they go away. To all the women I know: if you ever brush a guy off instead of having the decency to break up with him officially, you will no longer be my friend.
Maybe Cassie will be different. Even if we don't end up in a relationship, maybe she'll make an effort to hang out with me. And maybe, just maybe, this Christmas won't be the third in a row I spend alone.
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| Obvious to me now that when women say they are looking for "an honest guy for the long term," they really mean "a jerk who smokes and drinks and sleeps around." Basing this conclusion on the number of women who have looked at my profile on this new dating site and decided not to have anything to do with me.
No good guys left in the world? Nah, there's no good GIRLS left. In my code, "good" means "willing to communicate on any level." 'Cause it appears I have to start there and move to the actual things I look for in a woman.
Even Cassie has suddenly become a challenge to contact. I could get married one of these days, if I could ever get past the first date...
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| Cassie and I met for coffee today for an hour. We talked mostly about music, but also about our families, jobs, etc. The usual fare. She's very pretty, light brown hair and blue eyes. I'm mildly interested so far, and we've already talked about doing something next week. On top of it all, I found out she's looking for a church, so I invited her to Grace!
Not gonna wait too long before I ask her out. Our conversation revealed that we have even more in common than I thought. Maybe around Christmas I'll buy her flowers, we'll see.
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| I have a date on Tuesday. I've only been stood up once before, so it stands to reason I'll get to meet this girl, and judging by our chats and such, it will be quite the meeting.
I ran into Cassie on an internet dating site which I'd recommend to anyone - www.plentyoffish.com - for the simple reason that it is completely free of charge. The administrator apparently set up the site because he didn't want to see corporations preying on people's love lives.
Lack of fee notwithstanding, since I signed up I had been stonewalled. Almost every woman I contacted didn't bother to respond; those who did quickly stopped answering messages anyway. Of course, as my mom has been so quick to point out, it only takes one... well, not making any predictions here, but based on how much we have in common, not to mention how beautiful she is, I'm not letting this one get away. Not if I have anything to say about it.
She was homeschooled. She is just finishing up a master's degree in music education, violin emphasis. She enjoys classical music. She lives maybe ten minutes away, and in fact until August she lived in the same apartment complex as I do now. She grew up in a very conservative Christian home but has become more moderate since, just like I have. She keeps an open mind when speaking with people who believe differently than she does. She has an interest in languages (when I was a kid I tried to invent languages).
Can you say "too good to be true"? In every relationship that ever didn't happen for me, there has been something that had at least the potential to cause trouble - for example, Bethany goes to a charismatic church, and I would probably have felt very out of place. At first glance (the operative phrase), there seems to be nothing standing in the way. As fellow homeschooled kids and music graduates, we'll have plenty to talk about, and I have no doubt she's very smart.
Of course I realize this could all fall apart, but if that happens, I'm only back where I was a week ago, and that's not so terrible. But - here's the kicker - she seems excited to meet me, despite her very busy master's-degree schedule. Cassie was actually participating in scheduling this coffee date, so I didn't have to press the issue. Like I said, I doubt I'll get stood up... looking at this from her perspective, she didn't marry someone out of college and as a homeschooled person has probably had at least some difficulty finding someone post-college, especially with her course work. Given how close our interests are, no matter what kind of person I turn out to be, she can't pass this up. Same as I can't, it's just too good not to give a chance.
Scheduling coffee a week in advance has caused a little awkwardness on my end, as I'm just not sure how much to communicate with her before meeting her. Don't want to come on too strong and push her away before then. But there's so much positive about this, it's hard to get discouraged or impatient. Which is great, because I'm off work until then, and I'll have nothing to do but think!
The play is next week, too! I'm psyched. This is turning out to be a fantastic holiday season, very much in the literal sense. Compare today with one year ago... night and day. It really is darkest before the brilliant dawn.
I hope you enjoyed reading this as much as I enjoyed writing it! Happy Thanksgiving, everyone, and have an amazing Christmas season!
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| Anyone remember the girl I mentioned a while back who I met online, and we talked for a month over Facebook, and then I found out she was dating another guy and she told me "if it didn't work out with him"? Well, guess what. It didn't work out with him. I wouldn't have found out, either, since I removed her as a friend on Facebook, except that I just signed up on a new online dating site (a free one this time), and guess whose face I see. Apparently she's looking again.
I keep crashing against a wall - realizing that I really can't function without a woman in my life. As the past has proven, though, WITH a woman I can function extremely well, and I handle romantic relationships very gracefully. But for the past three years, the world around me has not only been devoid of women who would consider a relationship with me... it's been nearly vacant of women of any kind. I can count on one hand the number of local women my age that I know even as distant friends.
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